I’m sure you’ve read similar blog posts as this one may or may not end up playing out; about how moms need to move in front of the camera instead of behind it. How you’ll look back and treasure being in the pictures.
That’s the kind of post I intended when I started. But at this point, I’m actually not sure where this is going to go. I’m just writing.
As I was nursing my son a few minutes ago, the reality hit me like a giant slap in the face. The reality that this is my last baby, this baby who will turn one year old at the end of this month. The reality that this exact moment in time will never happen again.
I know it sounds silly. But it’s not something I consciously think about often. As mothers, we often find ourselves on autopilot, don’t we? Day in and day out, we power through things that need to get done; breakfast, chores, work, kids, laundry, bed, more work, etc.
Today when I took a second to soak up the moment, and decided to take some pictures in the process, I was judgemental. One picture turned into another, and another, and another. The first was too low, and accented my large belly. The second was too high and off center. The third was perfect.
….if only my double chin wasn’t there.
I took probably 10 pictures after that, and each one I saw one flaw, one imperfection, one thing ‘wrong’ after another.
Then I stopped.
I don’t feel beautiful.
But in the eyes of my children, I am. I am enough. I am the definition of beautiful, of worthy, of instinctual love.
Why do we care so much how these pictures look? Why do we care so much about what others think of us? Why do we try so hard?
Take the damn picture. And only take one. Put it online, put yourself out there. You won’t regret it. You don’t need to impress anyone, I promise. And if you feel the need to impress your friends, I implore you to seriously consider those friendships.
Being your true, unfiltered self, it is so intoxicating. It’s so scary, I totally understand the feeling. But it’s worth it.
You are worth it.
Time is fleeting. These precious moments are fleeting. Enjoy them for the natural beauty that they are. You are beautiful and so is your life. Remember them for what they truly were.
Just take the damn picture.