Be Unapologetically You – Depression and Anxiety as a Stay at Home Mom.

Depression is sneaky. It knows nothing of age, of gender, of social status. It doesn’t care if you’re a stay at home mother, a successful CEO, a grandmother.

This is my confession. My story. I’m a stay at home mom who struggles with anxiety and depression.

It’s hard to describe it. My moods are often like the ocean. Everything is bright, cheerful, serene. I’m happy, on top of everything, optimistic. But sometimes, the winds shift. Things get messy. My mind clutters, thoughts are less cheerful, my chest feels heavy as if it’s been hit by a tumultuous wave.

It’s a repetitive cycle — once you’re in the trenches, swirling through the different emotions, it can be hard to escape. One moment of anxiety can turn into days, weeks and months of struggling.

Mine usually starts over guilt. Guilt that the house isn’t clean, but yet I’m home all day. Guilt that I’m neglecting my older child to care for the infant. When I get easily frustrated with my toddler mainly because the baby is demanding and I haven’t slept properly in months, I feel absolutely terrible. My anxiety escalates. Guilt that I’m staying home with my children as so many mothers desire to, yet aren’t able to, but I’m struggling. Guilt that I can’t just sit here in my home with my windows open, happy. That the beautiful 72 degree breeze flowing through the house, lull of music playing, happy children meandering, dogs playing outside isn’t enough.

Some people may not understand, and that’s okay. It’s hard to understand something you can’t see. It’s especially hard with social media, where people strive to share their best moments.

Are you traveling the same road as me? I wish I had an answer. A cure. It takes a lot of strength, hard work and determination to power through these internal struggles while raising a family. To smile when your chest is tight, to sit down with your kids and play a game when your mind is racing. That takes incredible resilience.

When things are good, they’re good. But when things are difficult, know you aren’t alone. Sharing this with you all is my reminder — Take a deep breath with me, will you? Sit alone in your bathtub. Go for a walk. Do something alone.

Don’t be ashamed of your feelings; it’s okay to feel the guilt. But whatever you do, do not settle. Let’s work together, to better ourselves for ourselves.

I’m going to keep working towards this — will you join me? I’m seeing a therapist intermittently, I’m working towards finding medicine that works for me. I’m starting to exercise, practicing the art of mindfulness. I’m taking more time to enjoy my spouse alone, and get back to being a couple. What things are you doing for yourself?

My chest feels lighter just expressing myself so openly. I sincerely hope you have a good support system to hold your hand during the rough times, laugh with you during the crazy, and hug you through it all.

Revel in the good moments.

Acknowledge the difficult times.

Be unapologetically you.


6 thoughts on “Be Unapologetically You – Depression and Anxiety as a Stay at Home Mom.

  1. I too struggle with anxiety and depression. Today was a very difficult and bad day emotionally, but of course there was no rhyme or reason for it, other than that’s just me. I appreciate your post and I appreciate you. Keep kicking butt one day at a time!


  2. You’re very brave to write this! I think it probably will help to have it “out there” and get more support. I don’t know what anxiety and depression are like, beyond a “normal” level here and there when being a SAHM is tough, so I have no tips … but I think your path forward sounds very healthy! Your children are lucky to have you, no matter how hard some days are. Keep the sunny days in the forefront of your mind, and best of luck going forward! Gorgeous kids, mama!

    Coincidentally, I read this blog post from a fellow blogger yesterday that mirrors what you just wrote. See, we are not alone here, right? This situation is so much more common than we think, so keeping the conversation open is helping!


  3. I have never read your blog but a mutual follower of ours sent me your link. I too struggle and I just want to thank you for sharing your story with the world. I know how hard it can be to open up. But reading your post has made my world seem a bit brighter, I feel less alone, less isolated. So again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. ❤


  4. I have struggled with a burn out. When i read your blog i thought… i can relate! Not with everything but with a lot of things you wrote. We should all stick together and support one and another and let them know that everything is not always sunshine and rainbows and that thats ok. I love youre blogs and facebook! I enjoy the honousty en hilarious ways u tell everything! Please continue 🙂

    Love from holland


  5. I’ve felt alone and locked up in my own head from guilt sense I quit my job when I was about eight months along. This is my first pregnancy ever the doctors said there was a very slim chance having a baby because I have polycystic ovary disease syndrome I have a. Maybe want to hear sometimes once every few years so it’s very hard for me to get pregnant. Well I started bleeding a little bit I was an assistant manager at Casey’s General Store and my boss was horrible left all the heavy work for me to get done at night which I tried I handled it but it started making me bleed so my husband and I thought the best thing to do was to quit my job for the health of my baby. First everything was okay but I’m so used to working and helping bring in the money but I started to get depressed and kept it to myself and you don’t realize how the guilt and depression follows you but it does you don’t feel like you could reach out to anybody because you feel like nobody would understand where you’re coming from. So you fall deeper into your depression and guilt. I couldn’t figure out where why and how I am feeling this way. I would try to talk to my husband but he wouldn’t understand I was in denial for a long time with my daughter didn’t feel like she was really mine even though I know I carried her I felt her kick I heard her heartbeat I seen her on the ultrasound I gave birth to her eyebrows better change her clothes it was still hard I didn’t feel like she was mine. She is now 19 months and I’m finding it hard not to be depressed being at home and not working I tried to find the little joys and being blessed to even have her in my life to be so blessed to be able to be home with her raising her being so blessed that God has taken care of us and kept his promise being so blessed that my husband has a job that can provide for both of us as well as our daughter but the guilt is still there that I’m not out helping the feeling of being stuck is ever so strong a lot of days I feel so lost feel so hopeless Just One Day at a Time. Thank you for this story because it touched my heart deeper than you would ever know. And thank you for posting this because I have never been able to actually come from my heart and say what I said and this post being afraid of judgmental worldly people people are so negative they tear you down even worse because they don’t understand where you’re coming from but you do thank you may God bless you and your family


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