Motherhood Uncensored

hospital

While I was envisioning this post in my head, I had so many ideas of things I wanted to say, and how I wanted to say them. But it’s 8:00pm, and my words seem to be fleeting at the moment. Maybe walking my toddler back to her room 18 times tonight is partly to blame? Or the cluster feeding baby? Who knows. So I’m just going to dive right in. The story behind my ‘Motherhood Uncensored’ picture, and what led me to post it.

Let’s hop in the DeLorean and gun it to 88mph as we go back to the year 2012. November 2012, to be exact. I was expecting my first child, a little girl, and I was ready. I had done everything right; exercised the entire pregnancy, ate well, followed all the ‘rules’. I was told at every appointment that delivery would be easy peasy for someone young and healthy like me.  I read all the books, and consulted my online mommy group more times than I could count. Bags were packed, car seat installed and I was as giddy as a race horse. Sound familiar? Were you the same way with your first?

November 22nd. Go time.
ready

I’ll spare you all the details of my labor for another day, but it’s safe to say it did not go as I had naively envisioned. One emergency cesarean later, my daughter Kaelyn was born at a healthy 8lbs 1oz. We were smitten, as most new parents are.

I remember feeling so relieved that the hard part was behind us. That we could relax, sit back, enjoy visitors and finally be the family of three we had been waiting to be for nine long months. Boy was I mistaken. *WHAM* Reality hit hard in the form of a nurse giving a uterine massage only inches away from my fresh cesarean scar. And why were the flood gates of hell flowing from my vagina especially since I didn’t have a vaginal birth? Why didn’t any of my books tell me about the mesh panties, let alone the folded pee pads shoved in them? And the diaper ice packs that you come to have a love/hate relationship? Squirt bottle, numbing spray, how terrifying shitting before you leave the hospital really is, and rock hard, extremely painful breasts. The list seems endless. My books had failed me, to say the least. And from the comments I’ve read on my post, it seems like and lot of y’all were in the same boat; completely shocked by the aftermath of having a child

H

When Ken snapped that picture of myself standing in all of my mesh diaper glory, I had no clue he took it. I was too busy shoving Fudge Rounds in my mouth to even notice, or care (all my fellow Gestational Diabetes mama’s, y’all know how good that first bite of sweets is after childbirth!). I was also too busy basking in the glory that was alone time; sweet alone time with my family that we didn’t really get the first time.

I didn’t see the picture until a month or so later.  When I saw it, I immediately burst into laughter; it’s hilarious! Classic Ken. Sneaking pictures of me doing weird crap and making hilarious faces while doing so (Y’all should see some of the pictures he took of me during Kaelyn’s birth!). After a second or so, a wave of uncomfortableness overtook me, and I quickly closed out of the picture and left it at that. I spent the next few days randomly pulling the picture back up, and each time having the same reaction; laughter followed by awkwardness. Maybe it was my postpartum hormones or lack or sleep, or non-stop threenager playing into it, but my feelings towards that picture started pissing me off! Why? Why was I feeling so awkward over it? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? C-section or vaginal birth, we’ve all been there.

nursing

I was really hesitant to post it, but figured what the hell. I think my insecurities in posting something that’s natural and something that every woman who gives birth goes through was enough of a reason to go ahead and do it. Why feel ashamed over something that’s normal? Why the hell not post it? If I can make a difference in someone else’s journey into motherhood, then I’d be happy.  If one less woman feels ashamed, or embarrassed or nervous about what happens after they give birth, then that’s a frickin win! No one talks about the dictionary size pad, the mesh panties, the postpartum bleeding, but we should. I wanted to give new moms a low down of what’s to come, and let other moms know to remember to smile, and enjoy every aspect of child birth. As Scary Mommy perfectly said, “New motherhood can be seriously hilarious, and moms sharing those funny (and sometimes embarrassing) moments can be a great thing for all of us.”

Pierce

It’s so important to share the real, raw moments with other moms. The unknown, especially related to childbirth and childrearing, is really scary. I had high hopes that my post would open up pandoras box, so to speak. To let everyone know it’s life! It’s natural, it’s beautiful, it’s part of the process and it happens to all of us who give birth. Don’t take yourself too seriously, laugh about it and enjoy every second of the experience. It’s unlike anything else you’ll ever go through again in life; the good, bad and ugly combined. It’s all beautiful.

hospital

I would absolutely love to see some uncensored, raw photographs of yourself during childbirth, postpartum, nursing your little, hanging with your toddler – whatever!

Shoot me an email to bitsobaconblog@gmail.com with a small write up if you’d like. And if you don’t mind me featuring your picture in a future post, mention that as well! I’d love to share more of these moments with our followers.

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17 thoughts on “Motherhood Uncensored

  1. Your daughter was born November 22 by cesarean section? My son was born same date, same way! Only in 2000. I had the same thoughts too….. your “mom diaper” picture is bold, it cracked me up too. My first thought was that someone better sleep with one eye open, then I read it and realized that you and not your hubs had posted it. Bravo!!!!!

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  2. Thanks for the reminder of how unglamorous childbirth is. 🙂 I went home with the same underwear. Childbirth is gritty, if magical experience. Lol.

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  3. Hey girl! I’m loving this, it’s I’m even more awesome hearing your story since we know each other lol. I’m 37 weeks pregnant & I’m loving to hear you being REAL! So many weird, uncontrollable, embarassing things have already happened to my body, & I know it’s only the beginning.

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  4. Amen Sista! I gave birth 6 times, 3 vaginal followed by 3 c’s. What’s with these ladies who look like supermodels the day they give birth? One should expect to look like a puffer fish having an allergic reaction! I, too, LOVED my numbing spray! Bought 2 extra cans once I got home….AND I consumed the entire bottle of prescription PAIN MEDS! After that 1st hospital poo (which was WORSE than the birth of 1st child 2 days earlier!) I became an advocate and encouraged all PG ladies to not ONLY take a daily stool softener from 7 months on, but to also make a bag of dried prunes your daily candy hit as birth day approached! Also loved the SITZ baths in hospital – soothed the nether regions and a bit of alone time peace and quiet without babe!! Also by child 6 I called my hospital a “spa” and my lovely obgyn gave me an extra (4th) day in hospital- loved ordering from cafeteria EVERY MEAL, not cleaning up, sending babe to nursery, and BEING ALONE WITHOUT 5 kids under age 7 at home!! Super awesome that 6th one was born during a FLU epidemic so guess what?! NO SIBLING VISITS! Oh darn! 😕😶😊🎉! You are smart and funny and wise to keep it real! Let’s write a book about what pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum are REALLY like! Post c-section sucks! Especially since I did not have a recliner! And nursing babes in winter is the pits! Wet & leaky leads to chilled and miserable- and throw in the postpartum hot flashes …😬! I will email a photo of me with 5 of mine. Keep it coming!

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  5. I just read your blog comments included and all I can say is AMEN! I am due any day now with my second child…8 years after the 1st and scared sh*tless of all the birthing hell and postpartum crap 😩we have to go through. A lot of it is never told to you and boy do you get whacked in the face with reality! So thank you for the friendly reminder of what’s to come!😄
    Keep sharing!!!

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  6. I actually didn’t mind the physical recovery, but the emotional/mental shift after giving birth was tough for me. Baby blues, sleepless nights, etc. There’s really no way to prepare for it either!

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  7. I laughed so hard when I saw this photo bc I felt like I was looking at myself after childbirth! No one warned me of the flaming hot vagina or episiotomy(sp?) tears. Who knew that a monster cold pad, squirt bottle, numbing spray & MESH panties would’ve been my best friend? Eventho my youngest is now 9, I applaud you for being so bold to talk about the joys & awkwardness of childbirth. Keep on keepin on sista!!

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  8. The absolute best photo of those delightful undies….sidenote: I wish I had taken a few with me….I love the feel.of them to sleep in and well, to just kick back in.

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